We plan to be married soon and I have a concern about her attitudes toward sex and affection

Usually, she just seems to want to get it over with, then shower the “sex” off and get on with her day

Recently, I’ve come to view my own strong desire for affection and passion as a shortcoming. I am certain that she views me as needy and clingy, making me feel less desirable and “manly”. I am also fairly certain that she feels less attracted to me as a result.

I love her deeply and I truly believe she loves me. We kissed a lot and she would go on and on about what a wonderful kisser I was and talked about what great lips I had and so on. Though we still kiss and “peck” often enough throughout the day, when it’s time for intimacy, it’s just not the same. I still feel those fireworks sometimes but it usually leaves me wanting more instead of being satisfied. She doesn’t like to french kiss and I can always feel her holding back now.

When we dated over the first few months, she seemed sexually insatiable

She also isn’t what you’d call a snuggler. I’ve all but given up on spooning with her when we go to bed, or reaching out for her in the morning to cuddle. She acts as if these needs are odd, making me feel needy and clingy all over again. I can feel her stiffen and sometimes even repulsed by physical affection. She says the problem is with her and not me, but no man can experience that over time without feeling rejected and unattractive.

Sex is less frequent and she “participates” sexually but she doesn’t seem so much “there”. Frequency will diminish once the honeymoon period is over of course, but we’ve been together for only 10 months and in the beginning it was such a whirlwind romance. She actually now seems almost repulsed by foreplay and that makes it difficult for me to become aroused. The mystery is that she usually orgasms. She appears to genuinely enjoy the act of coitus itself, but little else. She wants it to start fast and end fast. In fact, sometimes our sex is so wooden that I feel as if she could do without altogether. Afterward, I often end up feeling like a lousy lay and a tool.

We’ve talked about it and she seemed to make some effort to adapt, but I already feel her resisting any real effort to change. I am afraid to discuss it anymore as she has suggested that if I feel that way I should just leave her, every time I bring it up. She has never suggested that we are anything but completely compatible or had such a strong reaction to anything else. In fact, I feel I can talk to her about anything else, other than intimacy and affection. And that is what concerns me the most. It is the one and only taboo subject.

She is younger than I am, but experienced in relationships. She says that I am the best man she’s ever known and that makes me feel good. However, I am not the sort of man she dated in the past. The sort of man she seems to be attracted to, isn’t how I view myself.

I am a masculine and capable man, but not a macho jerk, to be certain. That said, it’s the macho jerks who seem to turn her head edinburgh sugar daddy websites. In fact, she seems to feel a strong attraction to all the sorts of men that I’m not. Men she described in her past were generally crude, self-absorbed and sexually objectifying. As a type, she’s seems far more attracted to rednecks, thugs, cops and narcissistic personality types. Judging by what she’s told me about her past relationships, these are the sorts of men she always ended up with. Now as I write this, I’m really starting to wonder why she’s with me at all! Help. –At a loss anon3396